Creating New Year Goals
There is something hopeful when looking towards the New Year:
You left mistakes, regrets, and embarrassments behind.
You’re looking forward to what might be.
This feels like the perfect time to change a new leaf instead of falling into old habits that lead to self-criticism.
But let’s also face it, every year you come up with New Year resolutions and goals. And every year, you seem to abandon them within the first month or two. Some years, you’re lucky to even make it to March as you commit to “healthier eating habits,” exercise, and reduced screen time.
This is a good time to really evaluate what you’re hoping for in the coming year. Here are things to consider as you figure out what you’re wanting and how to support yourself so you can achieve those goals.
What’s Important to You?
One of the issues with New Year resolutions is that most goals are pretty superficial; it’s easy to prioritize in the beginning, and hard to keep up with in the long run. When you try to make change, it always will be a challenge. So pick something that’s meaningful for you and find ways to prioritize those goals so you’re not trying to do all the goals at once. As a fellow overachiever, I can see how that idea feels satisfying, but the reality is that you’ll feel overwhelmed and discouraged by trying to do it all.
Common Traps
Weight Loss
One trap people fall into is focusing on weight loss. With the pandemic and its impact on our bodies, there might be even more pressure to “bounce back” to pre-pandemic weight, size, and look. I challenge you to slow down and explore what is the significance of losing weight, because often it’s really not about the weight. Usually, weight represents something about yourself.
Yes, fatphobia makes a strong appearance at this time of year providing false hopes of “losing the weight for good” which ultimately leads to feeling of shame and guilt for not having the “willpower” to diet and exercise. Instead of falling into the cycle, let yourself be curious about other goals. Is there another type of goal outside of changing your body that won’t contribute to perpetuating self-shame?
Will This Chip Away At Your Self-Esteem?
Goals are about growing and moving to different or bigger places. It’s not about tearing yourself down until you feel like you have nothing left to give. There is a difference between feeling the growing pains of change and just being abusive towards yourself.
Also, a reminder: trying to achieve something new will lead to failure. You will fail. However, that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. If you allow yourself to go for your goals imperfectly, it will be so much easier on your self-esteem and self-worth to keep pushing through. That’s part of the growing pains.