Forgive Yourself
We are raised in a society that trained us to be very critical of ourselves. Not saying there isn’t anything wrong with checking in and seeing if there are areas where we can improve, but that’s not usually how we do it. What we usually do is we find that one thing we did wrong and focus on it to the point of getting upset. Not only that, we use those intense feelings to judge ourselves, to place value statements on ourselves. It’s a pretty awful cycle.
We can forgive others for their mistakes, for moments where they are less than perfect, but it feels impossible when we make a mistake. We add it to the inventory of why we suck. Why we’re not good enough. Why we’re a bad person. Why we don’t deserve happiness.
But maybe, just maybe that is not true at all?
Maybe we deserve to give ourselves the same amount of grace that we can so easily give to others.
What if we forgave ourselves for not meeting society’s unrealistic expectations? What would happen if we forgave ourselves for being humans and having human limitations and needs? How much easier would it be to go through the world having lifted the burden of shame for not being perfect?
If there is something that you are holding on to, give yourself permission to practice forgiving yourself.
Take responsibility where needed, take ownership of the ways that you might need to make change or to make amends, but beyond that, forgive yourself for being human. For making a mistake.
And if there is no one that was hurt and there is no responsibility to take, then that’s okay, too.
Most of the time, you were doing your best at the time given what you got. You have learned from that experience and can now do better.