Vulnerability Does Not Mean You're Weak
There is so much pressure to remain positive, hopeful, and motivated at all times. There is not room for sadness, anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame as that is often associated with being “weak.” And that is the worst thing in the world for anyone to be, right?
Except, you are human. You have a wide range of emotions which also includes having moments of darkness. It is not “weak” to have feelings that are not in an energizing manner nor is it “weak” to depend on people when feeling sad or scared.
Why You Should Let Go the Idea of Being “Weak”
You have vulnerabilities. We all do. Every single being on this planet has a vulnerability. It is a fact of life. With that sad, that doesn’t mean you need to share your vulnerability with everyone you meet. What it does mean is that to expect yourself to be “strong” all the time (whatever that means) is not realistic. In fact, trying to appear strong at all times, even with your close friends and family, can lead you to feeling even more depleted and alone.
It can be emotionally and physically exhausting having to navigate feelings of sadness, thoughts of death and hopelessness, and fear all by yourself. In addition, because of the expectations to remain positive, these experiences can add another layer of guilt and shame for feeling dark in the first place. Instead of what you intended which is to feel better, to feel “stronger,” you feel worse. And the cycle goes on and on.
One thing about our emotions is that they will keep popping up until the thing we need is addressed. Maybe you can relate to this: you work hard to shove those dark feelings down and eventually something, usually something minor, makes you just break. There is a flooding of emotions and you don’t know how to turn it off. My Grey’s Anatomy fans can totally see this with Cristina Yang when she is unable to stop the tears.
So What Should You Do Instead?
Feel your emotions without judgment. Which is, you know, obviously easier said than done. But here me out:
When you are finding yourself feeling “weak,” how can you describe what’s going on without having to go into judgments? Is it that you are feeling uncomfortable? Are you feeling vulnerable? Overwhelmed?
And if so, what do you want to do with that information? Do you want to connect with someone you trust to get support or help with problem solving? Do you need to take a break so you can reach your baseline again? Are those dark and angsty feelings trying to tell you about something going on in your life?
When you’re finding yourself wanting to judge yourself for having these uncomfortable and dark emotions, then you go back to being curious and sticking to the facts.
How are you going to embrace your vulnerability without judgment?