How to Cope With Suicidal Thoughts

If this is the first time that you are having suicidal thoughts, it can be pretty scary to acknowledge. There could be a ton of judgments you have about yourself for having the thoughts in the first place and what feelings of shame or guilt for what it means about you as a person.

If you’ve been having suicidal thoughts for years, or perhaps on and off throughout your life, it can often feeling overwhelming and frustrating that you haven’t figured out how to shut them off, yet.

I’m going to go over some of the ways you can cope with your suicidal thoughts so it doesn’t have to be as painful as it is feeling and can give you an opportunity on how to address needs that need attention.

Before I continue, it is important for me to note that if you are having suicidal thoughts, currently making plans on how to act on the thoughts, or intending on acting on the thoughts, you need immediate attention.

You can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or dial 911 if there is an emergency. If you have a loved one or friend, you can let them know so you can discuss what steps you need to take to help keep you safe.

Ideas on How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts

  1. Using Distraction to Create Distance from the Emotion

    If suicidal thoughts are popping up in your head, it may mean that you are feeling overwhelmed in this moment. If the feelings of being trapped or hopeless feels too much, it may be necessary for you to find another activity to do to help you get out of your head, until you’re able to feel a bit more regulated with your emotions. Here are some activities that can get you focused on the present:

    • Physical activities, such as exercising

    • Listening or singing to music

    • Completing tasks around the home

    • Art

    The goal is to help you to feel more grounded in your emotions before addressing what actually went on; it is not about avoiding the feeling.

  2. Being Curious About Events Leading to the Thoughts

    If you do not feel like you are spiraling with your emotions, then let yourself be curious about what has happened that is contributing to this feeling. Suicidal thoughts do not necessarily mean you want to die, but rather that you want something to stop.

    • What happened that you wish would stop?

    • Is it a feeling in your body?

    • Is it a situation that felt overwhelming?

    • Was it an intense emotion that felt unbearable?

    Once you’re able to better identify what the situation is, you can then let yourself validate the intense emotion and make space for problem solving as to avoid the situation or minimize the distress in the future. It is super important to validate, because without validating or being compassionate with yourself for having the feeling, it will be really hard to make any changes without it feeling like your silencing yourself.

  3. Reaching Out to Support System

    This does not necessarily mean that you need to talk about the suicidal thoughts with your support system, but rather that you may need to be connected with other individuals. According to Dr. Thomas Joiner’s theory of interpersonal-psychology theory of suicidal behavior a feeling of social alienation puts individuals at higher risk of dying by suicide. Allowing yourself to be connected to individuals, regardless of the content discussed or activities done, can help you better move through the feeling rather than intensifying it by being alone.

  4. Practicing a Nonjudgmental Stance

    As always, it is a lot easier to move through emotions and painful events if you’re able to do so without being an asshole to yourself. It is important to not judge yourself for having the feelings. Having suicidal thoughts does not mean anything about you as a person, whether or not you love the people in your life, or your potential. What it does mean is:

    • You are in a lot of pain, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

    • It feels like you are no longer able to cope with the pain any longer, it feels unbearable

    • You want the pain to stop

    If you validate that you are in a hard spot and are wanting the pain to stop, that will give you space to acknowledge how truly painful it is. And it also does not mean that you have to act on your suicidal thoughts. The thoughts, themselves, are just a big, giant red flag that something is wrong and needs attention right away. Like the warning lights in your car.

    The less you judge yourself, the easier it will be to move through the emotions and thoughts and come up with solutions.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and causing you stress in your life, make sure to reach out to a therapist in your area.

If you are wanting to work with me and live in California, in individual therapy or group, you can contact me to schedule a consultation.

Alison Gomez