How To Feel Less Anxious and Depressed

Finding yourself feeling intensely miserable at times? Where it feels like you are spiraling out of control with your emotions? Here are some things you are doing that’s adding to the intensity.

REMINDER: All of your feelings are valid, regardless of what got you there. The information provided is to help stop adding fuel to the fire.

  • Mind Reading

This is when you are interpreting how others are perceiving you and what they may be thinking about you. I find many people fall down this rabbit hole when they are putting themselves out there and are fearful for how it’s going to turn out. 

  • Ignoring the Positives

There are so many things that you do that it is almost impossible for everything to be an utter failure. When you ignore the positive (different from toxic positivity), you are not giving yourself credit for the things that you do well, your strengths, and your wins/achievements. It’s almost as if those things do not even count, making you feel absolutely awful.

  • Catastrophizing

This is a common way someone will spiral out of control. There is the seed of doubt, fear, sadness, anger, whatever uncomfortable emotion and you run with it. It may even feel like your mind is racing as you are building upon all the horrible things that may happen. Something that may have been minor turns into the HUGE emotional crisis. 

HOW TO NOT ADD FUEL TO THE FLAMES

  • You need to notice what is going on

If you don’ notice what’s happening with your thoughts and feelings, there is no way you’re going to be able to change them. Observe, pay attention, take note of what’s happening without judgment (as best as you can).

  • What emotion is underneath all these thoughts?

What is it that feels uncomfortable? Emotions like sadness, fear, guilt, shame, anger, and regret are really uncomfortable to sit with and it can feel easier (definitely not more pleasant) to turn against yourself than to sit with it. 

  • Try to validate and challenge the thoughts that make you feel worse

This is extremely hard when you’re in the middle of it and try your best without judgment. This is kind of like a skill that you need to practice in order to master. 

Do you engage in any of these? What helps you stop?

Alison Gomez