You Don't Need To Carry The Weight of the World On Your Shoulders
Why It Might be Hard to Trust Others
When you're a strong person and you’ve been through stuff, it is understandable why it feels you can only depend on you. It’s a survival strategy, especially when the people who were there to protect you and fulfill your needs weren’t able to for whatever reason. You had only you to depend on.
And as an adult, it’s hard to break out of that pattern because of how unsafe it feels. Not only are you learning the skills to trust, but your body is also probably trying to keep you safe as well. Because, you know, trauma is stored in the body. It must be incredibly frustrating not being able to trust, be vulnerable with others, and just let down your guard for a moment because that means you are at risk of getting hurt.
So give yourself permission to practice working through that vulnerability.
What to Consider Before Deciding How Much To Trust Someone
What are your coping skills? Do you have coping skills that help you regulate yourself without leading to self-destruction?
Are the people in your life trustworthy? Meaning, have you seen them being dependable with others or have had an experience where you trusted them with something else and it turned out well?
Why it’s Important to Not Push Yourself Too Much
This is important because if you are not used to putting yourself in uncomfortable spaces, then it can be super easy to dysregulate - meaning, you might spiral. When trying to make changes, just like with exercise, we’re not looking at tearing tendons and muscles, but more like feeling some discomfort. We don’t need you pulling an emotional muscle.
And also, not everyone is actually trustworthy. You don’t want to share secrets with someone you know is not the best at keeping your confidence. So, start out with something small and with someone that you have a good relationship with and go from there.
You deserve to give yourself a break from carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. That shit is heavy and lonely.