When You're Tired of Dragging Yourself To Work
“This is what happy feels like,” as Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is clearly trying to convince herself.
And maybe that’s what you’re also trying to do: convince yourself that your job really isn’t as bad as it feels to get yourself to work.
You’re doing well at your job, so why are you hating it so much?
There are people who are depending on you, so you need to go.
This is what you worked so hard for, to get to this place and it’s on you for being ungrateful.
But the fact is: you hate going to work.
It’s unfulfilling.
It sucks creativity and motivation out of you.
And at the end of the day you feel like shit. So what do you do now?
What Makes This So Painful?
Unlike Rebecca Bunch, do not make any sudden moves without actually figuring out what you’re actually wanting or needing.
It’s not always about the job, but about what the job represents.
Perhaps you are like many folks are fiercely loyal to your employer. You’re one of the “good” employees who go above and beyond to make things happen and there is a sense of betrayal to others for not wanting to be where you’re at or wishing you could quit to open a pretzel stand (or become an artist or whatever).
Or perhaps, you feel that you only know yourself as one of the “good” employees and to think of a life where you’re not constantly striving to achieve and succeed (at projects, presentations, whatever) then there is no meaning. If there is no meaning, there can be this fear of falling into a pit of despair and doom.
What Do You Do?
First and foremost: validate your feelings about not wanting to go. Without judgment.
There are very valid reasons why it’s hard to go to a place that makes you so miserable. You may need to go until you have another job lined up or another plan which can make it even more painful. This is when you have to ride the waves of discomfort so you can mindfully decide what’s best for you next.
Second: Let yourself be open and curious about what’s really making you so miserable at your job.
Perhaps you enjoy your work, but hate the politics of the office space.
Perhaps you hate your work altogether and wish you can go into another profession.
Perhaps you hate the expectations that others put on you, or that you put on you, because it feels so intense. It feels like it doesn’t leave room for you to be human because you’re not allowed to make mistakes or fail.
Third: What’s Getting In The Way Of Making A Change?
If you let yourself be open to possibilities and opportunities, what do you want to do in the long run? Is this the type of environment or work that you want to be involved, or is there something else that’s calling you? Because if you are wanting to get out, then what are the barriers to doing that? If you’re wanting a new environment, what are the barriers to looking for a new job? And if you’re wanting to relieve some of that pressure, what’s expectations feel like it’s so hard to give up?
If you would like to learn more about how to embrace yourself outside of your work, achievements, and successes so you can value yourself unconditionally, check out the More Than Enough: Online Therapy Group to learn more.